How does one make a change?
The first step is to be AWARE. If you are not aware that making a change would help your life, you won't know that you have options. Start to notice areas of your life where you are frustrated as that may be an area to make a change. Be aware of people who seem to be doing well in that area and find out what changes they made to get to where they are today.
Be aware of how you speak to others. Are you consistently going back and reminiscing on your past? I am sure there are many great moments to reflect on, but life is lived in the present. What was so great about that phase of life? What steps can you take to incorporate some of those things that were great then into your life now? There is so much life to be lived now and so much to look forward to in the future. Create those positive changes that can get you to where you want to go.
Life is lived in the present.
I feel stuck.
I am so sorry to hear you feel stuck in your current place or phase of life. That is never a good feeling and can make a person feel completely helpless. Here is the good news: you are not a victim to your circumstances. You have choices. If you are an adult, you have full autonomy to make whatever changes in your life you want to make. If you are a teen, there are still many changes you can make to increase ownership over your life, your goals, and your dreams, you just have to still follow the rules of the household you life in.
I know and I have heard how people have been victimized in their lives, pressured to stay the same, or not given many opportunities to change. But, it is up to you, if you develop a mindset of being a victim to your life. You are not a victim to your circumstances. You can choose to have a growth mindset.
Developing a growth mindset
It can be challenging to develop a growth mindset on your own if you have been stuck in one way of thinking for your whole life. You need a community of people you trust around you to help challenge that thinking. If you notice you have a mindset of a victim, a trained counselor can be a safe relationship to get help on changing that mindset. If you are stuck in blaming others, that is a mindset that needs to be adjusted and healed. You can take ownership over your life. Look for people you believe are succeeding in an area of life you want to succeed in and how you can implement similar healthy patterns into your life.
When I wanted to wanted to learn how to cook better, I sought help. I asked others how they found recipes, how often they cooked, what they liked about cooking. I following cookbook authors on social media, read their blogs, bought their books, and started trying new recipes. I took action. I found what worked well for me. I sought ideas from many different people, tried them, and incorporated the things that worked well for my life.
Trust that you know yourself best. You know the pace of change you can handle in your life. Find some helpful mentors, try their ideas, and listen to yourself if one of those ideas does not work well for you.
You have time to create the changes you want to make. Spend ten to thirty minutes less each day on social media or watching shows and focus that time instead on creating positive action steps into your life. If you do not have ten to thirty minutes each day you can allocate toward change, then reach out to your community. Find a friend who can come help give you a break for a few minutes so you can focus on yourself and give your friend that gift of time back as well. Be creative. You are smart and can find creative solutions to your problems. Ask your community or counselor to help you find creative solutions so you can have some free time in your week to make the healthy changes you want to make.
Change is taking action. Change is making movements toward your goals. Change is taking ownership over your life.
If this post resonates with you and you want to see if I would be a good fit counselor to meet with you, please contact me today. c.buchanan.counseling@gmail.com or fill out my website contact form.